Wedding celebrant James Troth looks at the big day from the bride and groom's point of view.
As someone who has helped more than a hundred couples join together in matrimony, I have long been a proponent of marrying a little later in life rather than rushing to the alter at the first ping of the heart strings. The best partnerships are often built over time (although its perhaps best not to wait too long in case you change your mind), and most loving married couples I know are the same ones that Jason Mraz must have met before he wrote the lyric: "lucky I'm in love with my best friend."
Taking your time also seems to apply to the wedding itself, which often requires considerable preparation and thought if you want to make the day really special. All to often, I have experienced or heard of hastily planned weddings that end in tears or worse at the reception. Such calamities usually begin after a few glasses of bubbly have loosened the tongues of the couple's nearest and dearest, who then start criticising the flower choices or complaining about the seating plan, which for some reason they believe would have been far better with their direct involvement.
To avoid such an onslaught, one of the best ways to research the perfect type of wedding for you and your guests is to go to as many as you can and assess them as an independent observer. Of course, this is not always easy once you get caught up in the celebrations, especially if there's an open bar involved (my role was always non-religious, I should add). Whenever I attend a wedding, free flow cocktails or not, I try to keep a close eye on the bride and groom to see if they are enjoying the day as much as I am.
Unfortunately, at most of the weddings I have attended or presided over, it is the bride and groom I feel most sorry for. The parents are generally happy, touched and emotional, the guests have the perfect excuse for a knees-up, but the newlyweds often seem so tied to the logistics of the event, so connected to all the preparations that have taken place in the lead up the big day, that they find it impossible to let go and just enjoy the moment.
The type of wedding doesn't seem to matter much either. Traditional church weddings usually involve one or more rehearsal, which by their very nature turn the whole event into a performance with all the associated stresses that go into a polished production. Even the more relaxed garden party styled affair seems to come with so many organisational boxes to tick that the only real time the bride and groom relax is once the bulk of the wedding party has long left the marquee with their full stomachs and merry heads.
As a celebrant based in Thailand, I have also been lucky enough to attend quite a few destination weddings in recent years, which I must say offer a fabulous alternative to more traditional arrangements, not least because most of them take place on or close to a picture perfect beach. Yet even amid such soothing surroundings, I have noted sweat on the brows of the couple-to-be that seems to result more from worry than the sunshine bathing down on their happy union.
So what is the best way to ensure a dream wedding that is as blissful for the couple exchanging the vows as it is for their friends and relatives? In my opinion, and based on considerable research, the answer is… outsourcing. Having a team of professionals take care of the pre-wedding details certainly takes away considerable stress, and knowing the actual day will run like a well oiled machine allows the bride and groom to really let go and enjoy the moment.
There remains the question, however, of who you should outsource your wedding to, at what price, and how to choose the best suppliers — be it planners, caterers or the venue operators. All these considerations largely depend on the type of event you choose to hold and where, but in many ways, a destination wedding is perfectly suited to a less complicated approach because the couple is unlikely to arrive at the destination
until a few days before the ceremony and reception.
Although distance from the location and team involved in the wedding may scare some couples, from what I have seen, as long as the wedding company chosen is experienced and professional, the result can be an exceptional, trouble-free day. With the right people hired to organise the day, preparations can be left to the professionals, who will update the bride and groom as required or make changes to the plan based on special requests.
has become a popular choice for pre-planned, destination weddings and couples now have a wide choice of planners and operators, packages and promotions to choose from. For the ultimate tailor made wedding, you can even hire a private villa and hold the entire event in exclusive, private surroundings and have the entire day managed by specially trained Thai and western wedding consultants who guide and support you through the planning process well in advance and make sure the day matches your expectations. Such precision may cost a little more than a fixed package at a hotel or resort, but when you compare the prices with similar bespoke offerings at home, the spend will definitely seem justified.
So if you want to enjoy your wedding day as much as your guests do, look into destination weddings. More specifically, think about holding one in your own private villa in Thailand. It's one way to guarantee that the only complaints you hear will be cries of jealously, which, after all, will only make the moment that much more special.
For more ideas and detailed information http://www.thesignatureweddings.com
by LVH Marketing